A DirkJake Moment
by Banana Theft
Summary: Just a shitty one-shot I wrote up while listening to How do I live (Bunny Back in the Box Version). It's short and lame and probably has a whole bunch of typos and shit because I don't have MS Office Word. And spell check. So please try and enjoy it. P.S. It's rated T for the swearing. Edit: I was sure that I had an entire rant about Alex but I think I removed that. Whoops.
1. Chapter 1

((A/N: Lovely HOMESTUCK Fanfic. This will be lame and sorta fluffy. It's a DirkJake, so don't be decivied with Jake act like a seme. Because he's not. Dirk is. Also. This is kinda AU-ish. Just throwin' that out there. And yes there are spoilers, sort of.))

((Edit: I originally had a explanation of Alex but when it got transferred to here, it seemed to have gotten removed or something. SO: Alex is an OC. She has an INCREDIBLY long story behind her that I go in depth about in a story I am currently writing, that will be mainly about her but will go off to explore other aspects of the other characters, trying my hand at 2nd person p.o.v.(which is a usable point of view.) Sorry for the confusion.))

((P.S. I am knot Andrew Hussie, so I don't HOMESTUCK or anything related. (Including the songs I use. I don't own them.) So please, enjoy.))

It was a clear and starry night (It only being 10 and t) (e sun ) (ad set not more t) (an 20 minutes ago.) and the crickets were chirping quietly (knot. We killed t) (em off during our last battle.)... God Damn it Meenah. Can I just tell my God Damned story? With no interruptions please? (W) (atever.) Thank you. *clears throat* And a boy, let's call him Jake, Jake English, pulls up his '95 Mustang to a house that he has been to many times before. This house belonged to another boy. And let's call him Dirk, Dirk Strider.

Jake sighed. He couldn't believe he was doing this. But he knew that dickface wasn't going to do this. He sighed again before grabbing his boombox from the passenger seat and getting out, gently closing the door. He strode to the front of his car, gently placing the boombox on the hood. He turned it on and it blasted out "I'm a Member Of The Midnight Crew" and he quickly switched the track. Thinking it was the track he was looking for, he turned up the music only to turn it back down because it was playing "She Wolf" by Shakira. Finally, after a few different tracks ("Our Last Summer", "GameGirl", and a few others.) he finally found the track he was looking for. He paused it and turned up the volume, grabbing the boombox and holding it over his head.

"Dirk! DIRK!" Jake yelled out, waiting for the blonde-haired male to open his window.

Dirk froze, pausing in fixing a part of his latest robot. "The fuck is Jake doing here?" He questioned out loud. He went over to his window and peered out it and lo and behold there was Jake, holding up a god damned boombox. He opened up the window and stuck his head out.

"Jake? What are you doing?" Dirk yelled out to the brunette, frowning. The brunette scowled at the tone in Dirk's voice.

"Shut up Dirk. I'm serenading you!" The blonde looked at him in question.

"With a boombox?" Dirk questioned, trying not to chuckle.

"Yes with a god damned boombox! Now shut up and listen!" Jake hit the play button and "How do I live (Bunny Back in the Box Version)" blasted out and Dirk face-palmed.

"REALLY JAKE?!" Dirk yelled over the music.

"YOU SAID THIS WOULD BE OUR SONG! DON'T TELL ME YOU FORGOTTEN DICKFACE?!" Dirk certainly remembered, but really? This song? Couldn't he- No wait. Dirk would have chosen this song if he were to do this kind of thing. Not that he would.

"MY GOD! CAN'T YOU TWO TALK THIS SHIT OVER LIKE ADULTS?!" Dave yelled, sticking his head out his window.

"SAME COULD BE SAID TO YOU! WHY DON'T YOU AND JADE TALK THINGS THROUGH LIKE ADULTS DAVE?" The two teens yelled back to Dave. Jake sighed. This shit is obviously getting him nowhere. He brought the boombox down and turned it off. Jake placed it on the ground and turned back to Dirk.

"Look. Dirk. This shit ain't getting anywhere. Sorry for disturbing you." Jake waved slightly before turning, grabbing the boombox and getting in his car. Placing it in the passenger seat he started the car and drove off.

The end." Alex smiled and glanced at everyone before laughing at their expressions.

"T) (at's it? T) (at was fucking lame!" Meenah said in exasperasion.

"i, uH, THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY, uH, COOL..." Tavros stuttered out.

"dude! why?" Dirk questioned.

"DUDE. DAVE. YOU DO NEED TO TALK WITH JADE." Karkat turned to look at Dave.

"ThAt ShIt WaS mOtHeRfUcKiN' mIrAcLoUs! :o) HoNk!" Gamzee draped himself on Alex, pressing down slightly on her back as everything turned to chaos.

"I kNoW, rIgHt?" Alex smiled stupidly, holding Cal's hand, who was sitting next to her.


	2. Anonymous reviews

_**So. Here's the deal. I had to turn off Anonymous reviews because someone didn't read the Author's note I put at the top of the story. ALEX IS MY ORIGINAL CHARACTER. SELF INSERTION IS PART OF THE ORIGINAL HOMESTUCK PLOT, AS DONE BY ANDREW HUSSIE. THIS STORY IS MEANT TO BE OUT OF CHARACTER. IT WAS A COMEDIC RELIEF STORY. YOU ARE MEANT TO TAKE THIS AS A JOKE. Any other stupid questions you may put in the form of reviews. Remember though, I turned off Anonymous reviews. Please log in.**_

_**Edit: I put in the thing about Alex.**_


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